Q&A Insight Into Upcoming BBC Radio Appearance with Project Lead

The Reality of Finding Your Pet Dead

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

In all honesty, I’ve recently found my grief becoming more challenging and causing different thoughts and feelings. I’ve come to recognise that a huge reason why my grief is becoming so substantial – more so than I feel it has ever been with the loss of a pet – is because unlike my previous three pets (Dolly, Pixie, and Emmy), Gracie wasn’t euthanised. In fact, she didn’t even make it to the Vets because I found her dead in my sitting room just hours before her appointment. I feel – and so many important people in my life have validated this and actually, they’ve even suggested it themselves – that finding her like that was a trauma. Now, in creating Gracie’s Way, I’m discovering that I’m not alone in this experience and as sad and heart-breaking as that is, it’s also reassuring to know I’m not completely alone in this. So, I wanted to do this article to not only reassure those people that their thoughts and feelings etc are absolutely understandable but also, to provide their professionals and their loved ones with insight into what they may be experiencing and how to better help and support them more effectively…

A Guide To Rembrance After Pet Loss | Exclusive Etsy Discount Code!!! | EverelleCraft Collaboration

“Tears don’t measure weakness. They measure our need to grieve and keep loving the one we’ve lost.”

Melvina Young

EverelleCraft on Etsy

Type ‘AIMEE’ at the checkout for 50% off

After losing my eight-month-old bunny; Evie on May 22^nd I found a bracelet on Etsy from the store; EverelleCrafts. I added ten charms all together with five each having the name of the pets I’ve lost these past eight years (Dolly, Pixie, Emmy, Gracie, and Evie) and the other five were the birthstones for each of them! When it arrived, I was absolutely over the moon with the quality and the final result of my customisation, and I actually shed a little tear when I saw all their names! I loved the bracelet so much that I actually got in touch with the store owner and after a chat, they offered a discount code exclusive to my readers/followers and I customised and ordered another three bracelets with one for each of the pets I have now (Luna, Ruby, and Tillie)! To share the discount code, and publicise the Etsy store, I put this blog post together where I’m going to chat about remembrance after losing a pet with a bit about the benefits of it, ideas for all sorts of memorials and methods of remembrance, and also some details on the Gracie's Way resource that is super fitting and useful for this topic…

Old Memories with A New Pet

“Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.”

Albert Camus

Several nights ago, I randomly decided to film a cute little cuddling moment with the newest addition to the family; my lop-eared, Double Manned Mini Lionhead; Tillie. Whilst my rabbits are very loving, I’ve never had one that’s really brilliant and who thoroughly enjoys being handled, so I really want to handle Tillie as much as possible whilst she’s young so that hopefully she’ll become used to it and will start to enjoy it. The breeder I got her from, actually summed her up as being ‘nervous but affectionate’ and in trying to handle her, I’m seeing that too – she can be nervous when you walk in the room or reach out to her, but once she’s in my arms; she’ll snuggle in under my chin and she’ll make the teeth chattering sound that’s the rabbit equivalent of a cat purring. Anyway, not long after I started filming this cuddle, I found myself flooded with the realisation that I was only holding Tillie because Evie had died. I wouldn’t have Tillie if she hadn’t. And this immediately led to some really difficult, confusing, and often conflicting thoughts and feelings, and I started crying. I was in two minds about still posting the video on the Gracie’s Way Instagram (@GraciesWayUK) because it obviously wasn’t what I’d intended, and I worried people would question my motives in posting a video of basically me crying! But I decided to use it as inspiration to publicise the message that even if you get a new pet after losing one, it doesn’t meant the other is forgotten or that you have just ‘moved on.’ So, to see the video, visit the Instagram profile linked just earlier when I mentioned it, and I hope this post is reassuring and educational…

A Complete Guide to Collecting Their Ashes

“The courage to continue is the most precious kind of bravery.”

Unknown

On Wednesday 3^rd June, I was in a taxi on the way to the Train Station to travel to London for two days for an event with Waythrough when my phone rang and I saw ‘Vets’ lighting up the screen. I knew what it was because at the Veterinary Practice I use for all my pets, they pick up and drop off a pet’s ashes on a Wednesday, it usually takes around one or two weeks to get them back, and they had taken my Evie the previous Wednesday. I answered with “if this is what I think it is, please can you ring me when I come back on Friday?” They agreed and I swallowed back my tears so as not to be embarrassed and awkward with my driver! I’ve had so many speeches and events recently that I couldn’t collect Evie until Wednesday 10^th. I felt terrible leaving ‘her’ in the Vets that long, but I also tried to remind myself that I was doing the best I could. I did something lovely all day Wednesday with my family and then they took me to collect Evie. I asked them to wait in the car whilst I went in and got her and the care the Vet staff went to in handling her and handing her over to me, made me so emotional and it was truly heart-warming and comforting to think that’s how she’d been treated the entire time she’d been there. In the car coming home, I cried and had the idea to film it as a way of showing the reality of collecting a pet’s ashes, and it was this which has inspired this article…

Finding Inspiration & Motivation from Pet Loss | Rest in Peace Evie

“Resilience is a precious skill. People who have it tend to also have three underlying advantages: a believe that they can influence life events; a tendency to find meaningful purpose in life’s turmoil; and a conviction that they can learn from both positive and negative experiences.”

Amanda Ripley

Having experience three episodes of Gut Stasis by the tender age of just eight months, Evie became poorly again and at 4pm, I took her to the Vets where they diagnosed her as being on the cusp of another episode. They said I’d caught it early because she still had some gut sounds (rabbits gut are meant to be noisy and sign of Gut Stasis is them being quiet or totally silent). By 8pm, she was lethargic, cold, and still hadn’t eaten despite the fact that at the 4pm appointment, the Vet had given her medication injections (including a strong painkiller because sometimes, if rabbits are in pain, this can contribute to their reluctance to eat) that should have worked by that point. As I held her in my arms, she slowly closed her eyes, and I was instantly flooded with the thought ‘she’s going to die in my arms.’ So, I rang the emergency, out-of-hours Vet and the Vet asked me to bring her in for half 9. When we got there, the Nurse couldn’t hear any gut sounds at all and in the end, the Vet said I had three options: admit her to critical care for a lot of medication (including three painkillers but that’s how much pain they thought she was in), send her home with lots of medication, or euthanasia. They gave her a small percentage chance of survival even if I had chosen to try all the medication and I just felt like I couldn’t justify it. I felt like it wasn’t good enough to warrant putting her through the effect that an admission or a lot of medication would have on her. She was put to sleep at around half 10 - just six hours after being told she was on the ‘cusp!’ And this motivates me to use this article to firstly, remind you all of the Gut Stasis article published a short while ago: What Gut Stasis Looks Like: A Guide & Video | Gracie's Way. By the way, after reading this article, there's a video of some of the greatest videos and photos of Evie! Now, having now lost two bunnies within six months, I was desperate to find some sort of light to it; and that is what has inspired this article…

What Helped Other People After Pet Loss? | By Professional Ambassador, Emma Yoxall

 

When a pet dies, people tell me they hear the same well-meaning comments: “They had a good life”, “It was for the best”, “You can always get another one.”

But anyone who has loved an animal knows that losing them is not a small thing. It is devastating, all consuming, and incredibly lonely.

I recently spent time reading through posts and messages on a few pet loss forums, from people who had lost their pets. I noticed the same things coming up again and again. So I wanted to share some of the things that real pet owners said actually helped them through their grief...