“If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.”
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
With this being the first Halloween for Gracie’s Way, I was eager to do something special for it and so I had the thought of announcing all the work that’s been going into a huge project this entire year and, finally revealing something major about it...
If you’ve come to Gracie’s Way from following me and my mental health blog; I’m NOT Disordered (www.imnotdisordered.co.uk) you may know that I’ve actually already written two books (Everything Disordered and You’re NOT Disordered). So, I think that if I were writing a third one that was similar in regard to subject or topic and it being about blogging, it wouldn’t be as scary! I was aware from Day One of creating the book that the topic I’m writing about affects the amount of confidence I have, and it’s so important that you have a level of confidence in your writing when you’re putting a book together. So, I decided that rather than focus on pet bereavement – which yes, is a topic I’m experienced in, but I think creating content about it is still new to me – the book will actually focus on everything about having a pet that will even remotely affect your mental health. And with mental health being a familiar subject for content creation, I found some new confidence in creating the book which has the title:
The Gracie’s Way Book: A Mental Health Companion for Pet Owners
Why voluntarily do something so scary?
As much as it felt like Gracie’s Way was totally unplanned and really lacking in putting sort of thought into its future, the entire journey with the project has also felt completely natural and actually, almost automatic. As if I’m just doing what I’m meant to be doing. As if I’m doing what’s been planned this entire time. And I wonder if part of that is because I’m just so totally used to doing some positive and productive when something negative and upsetting happens. Like, maybe that’s become some sort of habit or automatic response for me now, as if it’s just what I do when something like that happens.
So, in losing Gracie on November 1st, 2025, creating Gracie’s Way was somewhat of a natural instinct for me, and to be honest, it feels like the Project then progressing into me creating this book was also very natural. And I feel like, from working in communications, marketing, and the Influencer industry, I’ve seen it can be so important that things of this nature have come naturally. Your motivation for anything you do online seems to almost be a public right these days! Like, the second someone posts content, their followers are wondering why they published it. Did they do it for engagement? Are they trying to attract more followers? Does that make them ungrateful for the following they have? Or do they genuinely want to raise awareness of something? And if they do, is it because they were asked to? Are they being paid or benefiting in some other way?
I’d like to think that with all the super sleuth’s out there who are skilled at determining just how genuine content/a content creator is, will be able to see how genuine, heart-felt, wholesome, and natural Gracie’s Way and now The Gracie’s Way Book is. But I wanted to tackle the topic of motivation as I wondered if it would be questioned if I state this as the scariest moment since starting Gracie’s Way on January 9th 2026. I wondered if people would question why I was doing it then. In addition to it feeling natural and it being a positive and productive use of my loss of Gracie, here are some more reasons for writing The Gracie’s Way Book:
To build on my experience and skills in writing.
To learn more myself from the research I inevitably had to do in order to include everything I wanted to include.
To take Gracie’s Way one step further in terms of publicity and marketing.
To have something really positive and productive to do with any free time.
To face my fears...
That last one made me realise I haven’t really talked about what’s so scary about this announcement and reveal for me:
One. The Opinions of Others.
This is probably the obvious fear because all I’ve really talked about throughout this blog post so far has been the worry of what others might think of the motivation, rationale, and drive behind creating the book. Another thought I’m worried about others having is them thinking that I’m getting too big for my boots! For those who haven’t heard that saying, an AI overview from Google states ‘It describes someone who is arrogant, conceited, or overly confident, often after a small success or a new promotion.’
This is something I’ve been careful with recently on Gracie’s Way Instagram (@GraciesWayUK) content too because the project’s website has reached two milestones in views recently – the first was 50,000 and the second was 75,000. When thinking about how to publicise reaching these figures, I was tempted by something along the lines of ‘How-We-Reached...’ but I was so nervous that this will inspire the whole ‘too-big-for-my-boots' thought too. That some people will have the attitude ‘you’ve been doing pet bereavement content for ten months – who do you think you are?!’
In all fairness, I think this is something I’m aware of or conscious about because of my blogging career – there were so many milestones in the early years of I’m NOT Disordered where I could have celebrated them via content giving tips and advice on how I managed to achieve whatever it was. But I bided my time and waited until I felt I had the right to create such content. Until I became someone who people were actually asking advice, tips, and thoughts from anyway. And until I felt confident that I could argue my ‘qualifications’ for being able to give that kind of advice.
I mean, even if I had all these reasons why I was entitled to give advice, what use were they if I wasn’t prepared to use them if someone disputed things? For example, if someone had said, “who do you think you are advising others on how to phrase a post a Borderline Personality Disorder?” and yes, I could say, “well I had that diagnosis so I should know — as well as anyone else with it – how best to word something for someone with that Disorder.” But, if I wasn’t prepared to share that I had the diagnosis, it wouldn’t have mattered.
So, if someone were to ask who I think I am to be advising people on coping with pet bereavement, it’s important I feel able to say, “because I made it through some losses myself.” But, after starting to create the book, I made the decision to change it from purely being about pet bereavement and the aftermath of losing a pet to focusing on an owner’s mental health throughout their entire journey with a pet. I found that whilst I had a heck of a lot to say about pet bereavement, there was also a lot to say about the beginning of getting a new pet and that ideally, I’d like Gracie’s Way to be there for that bit too. I also checked with AI (namely Chat GPT) whether this was a good decision and it came out with the same thought that was at the forefront of my mind; focusing on pet loss really minimised the audience and made the book ultra-niche. But to include it in the book? And also talk about the early days? That widened my audience.
Fully aware how hypocritical that might appear because I was already worried about people’s opinions and now, I’ve changed the book to widen the target audience?! But in addition to the more professional motivation around my confidence levels of what I’m creating content about; I also made the decision to widen the content to better times with pets too, for more personal reasons...
Immediately in deciding to create Gracie’s Way as a project, I was aware of it impacting my blogging career and my greatest concern was that I was about to start creating content on a whole new, upsetting topic. Like mental illness, suicide, self-harm, abuse, and rape weren’t enough? Fortunately, since I’ve established – for a long time now – that over my years of blogging, I’ve learned millions of ways to cope with the fact that I’m typically creating content on very deep and difficult topics that aren’t a barrel of laughs. So, I felt that embarking on a new topic was ok if I just always kept in mind that it might take time to learn how to stay safe, happy, positive, and productive in my own life and my mental health whilst creating such intense content.
Two. The Workload.
I was very nervous and scared about the amount of work that writing a book was going to mean – the very fortunate here is that I have written books before and published the same way The Gracie’s Way Book will be (Kindle Direct Publishing or KDP). Now the reason I say this is good, is that when writing a book is unfamiliar to you – you can assume it’s an amount of work that it actually isn’t. And I know that because I did that with my first book! So, at least I know that my fear of the workload is founded and real and this means so much because the last thing I wanted was to be panicking and stressed about something I’m actually wrong about in terms of my predictions. It feels so much better to know that I’m being accurate in how aware I am of the workload.
Taking on too much is something I was pretty renowned for doing back when my mental health first started to improve, to be honest. I did it because I’d found myself developing this feeling of wanting to make the most of life and all the opportunities I was getting – mostly through my blog; I’m NOT Disordered. I knew how it felt to want to die. I knew how it felt to die (I’ve had three respiratory arrests and been on life support twice) and to be faced with recovery, happiness, calm and quiet in my head, all these amazing event invitations, complimentary emails, and so many opportunities being in the media and collaborating with other people and organisations etc was incredibly overwhelming.
I mean, in my head, to have been suicidal and spent literally over two and a half years working so hard in the psychiatric hospital with the Psychologist for trauma therapy and the staff with the medication regimes and with the Therapist for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), for all that work to have finally paid off? I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to experience all the good in life. I wanted to make the most of my recovery and say yes to everything to make up for all the instances when my mental health would have previously made it a ‘no.’
Eventually though, mostly through my blog; I learnt the downsides of taking on too much and I developed ways to learn to manage my inability to recognise my limits. I realised that if I signed up for everything in life, something had to give eventually. I couldn’t keep all the plates spinning and everything remain completed to my usual standards and quality of work. So, when I’d agree to attend another event even though I already had three in my diary for that same week, I learned all the important things that mattered most in deciding what to say no to... I think the biggest consideration I would give would simply be ‘how will this help me gain the future I want?’ and if it was an event where I would be handing leaflets out (my responsibility at my very first mental health event as a Blogger back in February 2014!) then perhaps the answer was ‘not really.’ My answer would then inform what I turned down or said ‘no’ to or backed out of and cancelled.
One way of managing the workload for the new book, was to ask someone else to write a Foreword for it and with the project’s Professional Ambassador; Emma Yoxall being such a huge support for the project sine literally Day One, she felt like the obvious pick. With that in mind, I thought it made sense to ask for her thoughts on how scary it was when I asked her to do this and how she actually managed overcome those fears and write an amazing Foreword...
Emma’s Fears & How She Overcame Them to Write the Foreword
My scariest moment since joining Gracie’s Way has to be agreeing to write the forward for the book! There have been a couple of other horror inducing moments but this one tops them.
When Aimee asked me to do the foreword it was a real shock! In a good way! It was a real honour as I firmly believe (having had a sneak peek at the book's content) that this book will be something very special and a valuable resource that touches on the whole journey of being a pet parent. I believe it's truly unique in this way.
The very first scary moment for me personally, since becoming part of Gracie’s Way, was submitting my first article as a Professional Ambassador. I wanted to make sure my contribution was valuable and not just another "article" serving no real purpose. In addition, I wanted it to be useful for other professionals working in this area and of course point out the way to the relevant free Gracie’s Way resources that can help their clients struggling with pet loss grief. As it turns out Aimee was really pleased with it, and I instantly felt my anxiety disappear.
As for the Foreword, for starters I had never written a Foreword, so that was a somewhat frightening prospect. But, Aimee provided plenty of informative guidance and examples, and I did some of my own research. I realised it was not as daunting as I originally thought. I wanted to write it because I really believe in the book and wanted to show my support for Aimee and the subject matter. It's an important subject and we need to keep raising awareness of the impact that having a pet has on our lives, good and bad. I hope that the Foreword explains to the reader a little about me and my work in pet loss, and why I felt so proud to be tasked with this. And also, I hope it gives a little overview of how the book will become crucial for them wherever they are on their pet parent journey.
To finish I’d just like to say that although things might seem extremely scary at first, with the right information and support, and of course a little motivation, they can end up being quite the opposite!
The Publication Date
A final exciting note before the big cover reveal; The Gracie’s Way Book will be available to order on Amazon UK on January 9th, 2027 – what would have been Gracie’s fourth Birthday and the one-year anniversary for the launch of Gracie’s Way as a project.
Finally, Without Further Ado, Here’s the Book Cover Reveal...
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